


See you Soon(er)

by spencer_reids_hands



Category: Criminal Minds (US TV)
Genre: AU, Bisexual Spencer Reid, Domestic Fluff, Fluff, Gay, Gay Luke Alvez, Just in general, Lesbian Emily Prentiss, Light Angst, M/M, Mild Smut, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, i don't know if that will come up but it's worth mentioning, if you're reading this then it did, let's see if this ever gets published, meet cute?, meet early, spencer has issues
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-02
Updated: 2021-03-09
Packaged: 2021-03-13 18:55:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 10,542
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28533258
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/spencer_reids_hands/pseuds/spencer_reids_hands
Summary: Where Spencer and Luke meet sooner than anticipated and their relationship blooms the way CBS was too cowardly to do.
Relationships: Luke Alvez/Spencer Reid, Spencer Reid & Everyone
Comments: 9
Kudos: 66





	1. Tipsy Lovin'

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Spencer tags along with the team to a bar, only to leave early after meeting a tall, dark, and handsome stranger.

The darkness of the bar was irrelevant with flashing and strobing lights, sending flares of brightness every 10 to 30 seconds. The music was too loud to hear much anyone talking. It just became a mumbled mush of voices I couldn't differentiate. A drunk woman passed me and I felt her hands drifting near my butt, and I shifted quickly. The bar I sat at was sticky and I set my hands in my lap, only lifting them to take a sip from my drink. 

Normally I'd love to go out to the bar with the team, but normally it wasn't so chaotic. I decided I was never going to the bars Morgan suggests after this. This wasn't even a bar; this was a club. 

"Spencer!" Emily yelled, and when she neared me I could smell the tequila on her. "Why aren't you dancing?" She tried to pull me from my seat. She would've probably succeeded if she hadn't taken that last shot, but I stuck my foot in the base of the barstool, keeping myself rooted. 

"Because I'm not nearly drunk enough to embarrass myself yet," I said, pushing her towards Penelope so they would go back to the dancefloor. She winked at me for an unknown reason before dragging Emily back to the circle she was in with Penelope. 

"Well, how are you gonna get drunk if you're just sipping on that bourbon?" A deep voice startled me and I jumped, turning quickly to see a man smiling. His smile faltered a bit and he cocked his head to the side. "Okay, wait, that sounded creepy, didn't it? I'm not trying to get you drunk and I also wasn't eavesdropping! I just happened to pass by as you said that and I thought, 'Oh, he's cute I'll flirt with him!' but I guess I'm not doing a great job am I?"

I felt my jaw drop slightly before regaining my wits and closing it, swallowing hard. This man was flirting with _me_? He was the definition of tall, dark, and handsome. 

"No, no," I said, biting back a smile. "You're doing great, please keep going."

He smiled too, and I noticed it was just the slightest bit lopsided. He had big brown eyes and even bigger arms, and I was just barely sober enough to resist reaching out and touching them. 

"I'm Luke," He said, reaching out a hand for me to shake. "Luke Alvez."

A shake was friendly enough, right? I briefly looked around and saw none of the team were in my eyesight, everyone dancing or refilling their drinks. 

I took his hand, my need to touch him going over my germ discomfort. "I'm D-uh, I'm Spencer Reid," I said, and he sat down next to me. 

"Well, Spencer Reid, what brings you here tonight?" He asked, lights flashing over his face in intervals too brief for me to get a good look at him. 

"It was a rough week at work, my team and I decided to let off some steam," I explained. Really, it had been a rough week two weeks ago when Emily and I were taken hostage by the cult in La Plata. Her injuries were finally healing and she demanded we go out now that she could enjoy herself. 

"Your team? What is it that you do?" He asked, ordering another drink and thanking the bartender. 

"I'm an FBI agent," I said, pulling out my badge to show him. He grinned. "But, I didn't come here to talk about work, I came here to distract myself from it..." I added, gaining confidence talking to the man. 

"Well, maybe I could help with that?" He asked, slowly standing and I did the same. I looked around and again didn't see anyone from the team around me. I smiled, tongue darting out to wet my lips before I spoke and I saw his eyes go down and stare at them. I bit my bottom lip slightly and nodded. 

"Yeah, I think you could," I said, and he tipped the bartender for both of us, taking my hand and leading me out of the bar. 

When we pushed through the heavy doors it was infinitely quieter and colder, no more loud music and body heat to suffocate us. I shoved my hands in my pocket and got a better look at the man. I was just an inch or so taller than him but he was obviously quite a bit stronger than me. He had large muscles that looked like they were trying to break out of his long sleeve, and I wished they would. 

I knew this probably wasn't a good idea. I'd worked enough cases that started like this to know you should never leave a bar with someone who could obviously overtake you, especially after not telling the people you're with that you're leaving. The way he smiled and linked arms with me made me forget about it though, and I leaned in closer, stopping our steps. 

"Luke," I said, maneuvering us so he was against the outer wall of the bar. 

"Yes, Spencer?" He asked, eyes going up and down my body. 

"Can I kiss you?"

"Thought you'd never ask,"

I grinned and pounced on the man. My slight weight wasn't enough to knock him over, but he took a half step back, linking his arms around my waist while I cupped his cheeks, running my fingers through his black, curly hair. His lips were big and pillowy and I thought needing oxygen was a damning thing when I pulled away for a breath. I pushed myself back to him but he pulled back, laughing a bit. 

I blushed and felt a pit in my stomach, why was he laughing? What did I do wrong? I pulled away quickly and he stopped laughing. 

"Your phone is vibrating," He said quickly, nodding to my pocket that was lit up from the screen. "Or, at least I _think_ it's your phone." 

I let out a sharp laugh, almost forgetting about the phone, but I pulled it out quickly and saw Penelope's name on my screen. "I have to take this," I said, taking a step away from him. 

"What is it?" I asked, annoyed at the intrusion. 

"Reid!" She yelled, partially to be heard over the sounds of the club but also because she was well past tipsy. "Where'd you go!"

"I uh, I had a bit of a headache, and I'm tired." I lied. Luke grinned, moving closer to me and kissing me on the cheek. I smiled until he started to move lower, kissing my neck, sucking, and biting gently. I held back a shuddered breath. "I'm going home, Garcia. Tell the rest of the team?" I asked, trying to finish the call quickly when Luke's hand started to play with my buttons. 

"You're no fun," She slurred. "I'll tell the team, feel better I guess!" She hung up before I could say anything and I let out a quiet groan when Luke unbuttoned the first three buttons on my shirt and brushed his cold thumbs over my nipples. 

"Going home, huh?" He said in between kisses. "Yours or mine?"

"What makes you think you're coming with me?" I tried to sound confident, but my voice cracked when he reached between us, nearly dropping my phone. 

"That's why," He said. "Now answer the question, your place or mine?"

"Mine!" I said too loudly when he shifted his leg against me. "My place, can you drive?"

"Let's get an Uber," He said. "I didn't drive here and I figure you didn't either."

I nodded and he called for a car, the two of us making out in a dark alley while we waited for a car. 

I was starting to get impatient, and so was he, and he pulled away. I took a moment to catch my breath, trying to control my body. I thought this must have been what it felt like to be a teenager. 

Luke snuck kisses in again every few minutes but pulled away when I tried to deepen them.

"Spencer said he wasn't feeling good," I heard a voice I recognized as Garcia's, and I froze. "I hope he's okay." She sounded sad. 

"Do you think he still feels guilty about the cult?" Emily asked, words slurring together. "I told him it's okay! It's okay. Besides, I wasn't even the one to get blown up, that was all him! I can't even feel the bruises anymore."

"Alright, ladies," Derek's voice came forward now. "Whose house am I dropping you off at?"

"Mine!" Emily crooned. "I have more wine!"

I pulled Luke back further when their voices got closer and pulled him into a long kiss, his back facing them and covering most of my body. They passed by, none the wiser, while Derek grumbled about being the driver for the night. 

"Was that your team?" Luke asked when we pulled away. 

"Yes, it was."

"And you were in a cult?"

"No! No, I wasn't _in_ the cult, me and a team member were just held hostage by the cult!"

"Oh, that makes it so much better." He deadpanned. 

"Hey, I told you I was an FBI agent! Things happen. What do you do anyway?" I asked though I had a feeling I knew what he was going to say. 

"I'm an Army Ranger... But I'm not on active duty!"

"I knew it," I whispered, kissing him again, hearing a car pull up. I looked at it and saw it was our ride, a dark blue Sedan. We jumped in, Luke making awkward small talk with the driver while I watched him intently. If I thought he was handsome in the poor lighting of the club, he was ethereal now that I could actually see him. 

I was never known for being confident in myself, spare academics, but the Emotion, Brain, and Behaviour Laboratory did a study on the correlation of arousal and emotions and found that they correlated greatly, increasing serotonin and creating heightened confidence during arousal. Not that anyone else couldn't tell you that. But it's nice to have science backing you up. 

Luke opened his mouth to respond to the driver when I leaned over and whispered in his ear, "I want to ride your cock," I elected to use slang rather than anatomical phrasing. It tended to sound less awkward and increase arousal in most individuals. Simply, it sounded dirtier. Sexier. 

"I, uh," He coughed a bit, trying to remember what he was going to say to the driver, and gave me an angerless glare and I grinned, putting a hand on his thigh. 

When we got to my apartment I didn't have time to take off my shoes before he pushed me against the wall, wasting no time before picking me up with a surprising amount of strength. I may have been small in stature but I was a grown man of above-average height. I directed him to the bedroom, both of us giggling in between kisses. He tossed me on the bed and I shrieked, bouncing a bit before settling onto the bed. He joined me, his weight comforting on top of me, and slowly stripped the both of us. 

"This is okay?" He asked, moving to take off my boxers. I nodded quickly, doing the same to him. 

Before we moved on he kissed me again and it was dizzying. "I want you," I said and he groaned, grabbing lube and a condom from the bedside table. 

"You have me," He said, pulling me close to him, both of us closing our eyes and getting lost in the feeling of each other.

* * *

Mornings were my least favorite part of any day. I'd much rather stay in bed, sleeping, until the sun was at the highest point and it was no longer A.M.

When I woke up the next morning though, it was different. Light shone through my olive curtains but I didn't shy away from it. There was an unfamiliar warmth next to me, one arm slung over me, and I huddled closer to it. The events of last night weren't necessarily hazy, they just took a moment to fully come to me. When they did I grinned, realizing that the warmth next to me was a naked man and that I was also nude. I snaked my way out of his arm, looking through our mess of clothes to find my underwear. 

"I could get used to that view," Luke said, voice gruff from sleep. I blushed, quickly pulling the cloth over my naked bottom that Luke was staring at. 

"Good morning to you too," I said, turning to see he was doing the same thing, searching for his briefs. I pulled on a pair of flannel bottoms as well, searching for the warmth I lost when I left the bed. "Coffee?"

"God, yes please." He said, rubbing at his eyes. Neither of us had _that_ much to drink, just enough for a slight hangover that coffee and some greasy food would cure. 

He followed me out to the kitchen and I brewed a pot, rummaging through my fridge for anything I could make to curb the headache we both had. I pulled out eggs and bacon, not asking if that would be suitable before cooking. He came up behind me, a mug of coffee in each hand, and he handed me one. I took a sip and grimaced, handing him the spatula and moving to grab the sugar. I added a considerable amount and I heard Luke snickering. 

"Don't judge me," I said, drinking my coffee with ease with the added sweetener. I pulled the utensil out of his hand and pointed to my room. "Go wait in my room, I'll bring the food."

"Special treatment," He grinned, running off to my room, presumably to regain warmth under the covers. "Nice!" 

I didn't have one-night stands often, just enough to know that they don't typically end in cooking the other breakfast in bed. It didn't seem to bother either of us, though, and I flipped the bacon. If he wanted to leave he would've woken up later or made an excuse when I offered coffee. 

Throwing messy portions onto plates and filling up the coffee cup he had left behind, I joined him in my room where he lay under the comforter, phone in his hand. He had an iPhone, much nicer than my old phone, and it looked like he was playing a game. 

"Breakfast is served," I said, giving him a plate and climbing under the covers. 

"Thank you," He smiled, munching on the bacon. "So, tell me, do you make breakfast in bed for all your one-night stands or is it just me?"

"Just the ones I might want to last longer than one night?" I tried to sound confident, but my voice cracked at the end of my sentence and I blushed, chugging the coffee to avoid looking at him. 

"Well, it's a good thing I only accept breakfast in bed from the ones who I want to last longer than one night." 

I bit my lip to keep from smiling, shoveling eggs into my mouth. 

"I suppose it's a little backward," He said after we finished the food and walked into the kitchen, I washed the dishes while he dried. "But would you like to go on a date sometime? At least we already know we're sexually compatible."

"Yes! Um, yeah, yeah I would like that. A lot." I said, nodding quickly. He grinned and hit his hip against mine, pushing me slightly to the side. When I came back he kissed my cheek and watched the blush bloom. 

"Good, I was thinking maybe we could-"

He got cut off by a loud knocking on my front door. "Ignore it," I said. "It's probably my neighbor coming to complain about the noise. I'll apologize to her later." Mrs. Cavannaugh was constantly finding reasons to complain about my presence, though I figured this time it was warranted. 

"Well, I was saying-"

He got cut off again, the knocking more insistent. I glared at the door. 

"Spence?" JJ called through the door. "Are you awake?"

I froze, looking to Luke who looked at me confused. 

"It's my friend, she's on my team but she wasn't out with us last night. She's probably checking on me because they told her I was sick," I rushed out. 

"We brought you some coffee!" Penelope's voice joined hers, then she added on, quietly. "He's probably asleep, he hates mornings. Just use your spare key."

"Shit! Go wait in my room!" I whispered and he laughed quietly, rushing away to my bedroom, hiding like I was a teenager who got caught with a dirty magazine. And, frankly, he looked like he might belong in one. "I'm awake!" I yelled to JJ and Penelope.

I heard the key turning before I could tell them to come in or wait so I could get a shirt, and then their heavy footsteps, another set with them. I turned away from the dishes, drying the last plate and putting it aside to finish drying, and faced them. 

JJ, Emily, and Penelope all stood at my doorstep, varying levels of a hangover on their faces, save for a very pregnant JJ. 

"Jesus, I thought I looked rough," Emily laughed. "I thought you were sick?"

"I was," I lied blatantly. She raised her eyebrows and pointed at my naked top, covered in bruises and bite marks. "I was sick of being alone?" I tried, and she laughed again. 

"Hey, good for you. Did she leave last night?"

"No, she stayed here overnight!" Penelope yelled. 

"How'd you know?" I asked, hoping Luke would stay quiet in my room. I really didn't need them to see him, also bruised up and half-naked. Also, the fact that 'she' was a 'he' might bring up some questions I didn't want to answer. 

"Two sets of dishes," She smiled, pointing behind me where there were two plates, forks, mugs, and the pan and utensils I used to cook the food. 

"When did she leave?" JJ asked, handing me the coffee they had gotten for me. 

"Oh, um, about..."

"Oh, my god! She's still here!" Emily said loudly and I shushed her. 

"Maybe, now will you guys get out!" I said, trying to kick them out. 

"But we brought you coffee!" Penelope frowned. 

"We did," Emily said, patting her on the shoulder. "But when it comes to coffee or sex, wouldn't you also pick sex?"

"I am not picking sex over you guys, I just don't want you here right now!" I said, then I realized that made it seem exactly what was happening. "Will you guys just leave? Wouldn't you be disturbed if you spent the night at a guy's house and came out the next morning to find three of his female coworkers crowding him?"

"Okay, okay, we'll leave. But don't think you're off the hook!" JJ said, corraling the other two towards the door. "We are talking about this Monday morning or having lunch! Text me!"

I waved goodbye, locking the door behind them and I groaned. 

"'She?'" Luke asked, a small smile on his face. 

"Are _you_ out in the army?" I asked, and he shook his head. "The Bureau's not much better. My team wouldn't care, at least probably not, but I can't say the same for anyone else. I just never told anyone I wasn't straight. They're profilers, they should've figured it out by now, really." I pointed out and he walked closer to me, wrapping his arms around me. 

"They might figure that out if they see you walking funny on Monday?"

I blushed a bit. "Hey! I will be just fine by Monday. I'm not even walking oddly now!"

"No, but after another round, you might be..." He turned and walked back to the bedroom. I stood there for a minute before I realized what he was saying. 

"Oh!" I yelled, running through my apartment to meet him in my bed. I'd text JJ later. Probably. Maybe. 


	2. Interrogations and Indian Food

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Spencer thinks about his weekend with Luke and deals with questions at work.

I left Luke's apartment Monday morning, a quick kiss to the lips and a wave goodbye, pulling my satchel closer to my chest and running out to catch the Metro on time to get to work.

I had known him for three days and we spent 71% of that time together, but I somehow didn't feel anxious about it. Being with Luke was fun, I didn't feel weird when I was with him. I first spilled into my rambling when he took me on a real date, Saturday night, and I was nervous so I told him all about the origins of eating snails and how they grew to become a delicacy. We weren't even eating escargot- We were eating pizza! When I realized I was rambling, about to apologize, I saw Luke staring at me in what I realized was adoration and awe. I still tried to stop and he grabbed my hand, telling me to keep going. 

I should've been nervous, or at least worried, about the pace of our budding relationship, but I wasn't. It felt comfortable, moving faster than normal but still not feeling rushed. We didn't rush to schedule dates, even if we had moved comically fast in making our relationship official. So, we had spent a weekend together, big deal! So what if he was already texting me when I walked into the Bureau? So what if I had to bite my cheeks to keep from smiling when his name came on my phone? So what if I responded immediately, almost missing my floor when the elevator opened.

"Hey, Spencer, you look happy," JJ smiled when I passed her on the way to my desk. "This have anything to do with the mystery lady from Friday night?"

That caught Derek's attention. He dropped his file and brought his chair to my desk. " _Pretty Boy,_ " He grinned. "Did you leave the club with a lady?"

 _No_.

"I left because I was sick," I tried to use the same lie, even though three out of six members of the team already knew it wasn't true. "Can't I just be happy?"

"He left because he was 'sick of being alone,'" JJ relayed to Derek, who just shook his head and smiled at me. "When'd she leave?"

"A little after you guys did. And no, I didn't get her number." I said, which was technically true. I never got a woman's number. And Luke did leave a little after they did, I just accompanied him. 

"That fresh hickey on your neck says otherwise," Emily chided, hitting the top of my head with a file when she passed my desk. I shrugged in on myself, fixing my hair and my collar. 

"Would you believe me if I said it was a flat iron?" I asked, all of us know that was a blatant lie. 

They laughed and delivered varying sarcastic lines of 'Sure, Reid, we believe you,' before going to their own desks and offices, leaving me still trying to adjust my collar. 

_L. Alvez - > S. Reid_

_-is your team interrogating you?_

_S. Reid - > L. Alvez_

_-They did. One of them noticed a hickey on my neck and none of them believed me when I mentioned the possibility of it coming from a flat iron_

_-Now I'm trying to figure out to hide it. It's not working very well._

_L. Alvez - > S. Reid_

_-I wish I could say I was sorry_

_-but I'm not_

_-have a good day at work!_

I laughed softly, putting my phone into my pocket and looking over the files. There was a looming stack that I knew I could finish by noon if I tried, but I really didn't want to try. I got up from my desk. I wandered to the kitchen and was pleased to see half a pot of coffee, still steaming hot. I poured a mug, adding in an obscene amount of sugar. I savored my first sip, groaning in delight at the warm drink, not noticing JJ coming in behind me, her own mug in hand. 

"Am I interrupting something?" She asked, grinning when I blushed, moving out of her way. I passed her the sugar and grabbed milk out of the fridge for her, grimacing at the old food that sat behind the milk. 

She carefully stirred her coffee, scarcely avoiding a spill and she smiled the same as I when she took her first drink. The coffee in itself wasn't good, but we both relished in the caffeine, keeping us going until we could hopefully get back home without a case. Especially JJ, seeing as this was her designated cup a day she was allowed until she gave birth and had to cease all caffeine until she finished nursing. 

"Hey," She started, leaning against the counter and setting down her cup. "I'm sorry if we made you uncomfortable with the teasing. You know it's all in good fun. It's just not often that we can tease you for a girl. The last time that happened was Lila Archer. And you know, with that being your first time kissing a girl it was just so easy to joke around a bit."

I scrunched up my nose. "Lila wasn't my first kiss?" I said, wondering why she'd think that. "I had my first kiss at CalTech."

"What?" She seemed genuinely confused and it would've been laughable if I wasn't a bit offended. There was nothing wrong with not having your first kiss until you were older. But Derek constantly made fun of me for being a virgin and I told them that I had been kissed, even slept with someone, before then. I thought they believed me after I told them for the 61st time, but apparently not. 

"Yeah, I told you guys that." I thought back to my first kiss, my first relationship, my first time sleeping with someone. It was all Ethan. But I couldn't quite say that. "I met someone who was in undergrad when I was finishing my second doctorate and we dated for a while."

"'A while,'" She laughed. "Are you trying to tell me you don't know exactly how long you dated?"

I blushed a bit. "One year, three months, two days." I wished I didn't remember. Not because I had any issues with Ethan or our relationship, but just because it didn't feel like the kind of thing I should remember almost a decade later. 

"Jesus, that's a long time. Why'd you break up?"

"I joined the academy," I said simply. Ethan came with me but left after one day, saying he couldn't do it. He went to New Orleans after that, pursuing his music. "We actually went together, but it was what I wanted. E wanted to be a musician, and so that's what they did."

If JJ noticed my neutral pronouns, she didn't react or say anything. "Well, what about afterward? Did you date anyone else?"

"Yeah, I've had two other relationships," I said, willing to tell her anything she wanted to know. I never hid my relationships from the team, they just never asked me so I never said anything. 

"And?" She prompted, motioning for me to continue. 

"Well, I met someone else at the Academy, but that obviously didn't work out." Stephen Gideon. That was a good relationship, we were still good friends. I should message him, see how he's doing. Or, is that weird now that I have a boyfriend? Boyfriend. That might take some time getting used to. "And obviously, you know about Lila."

"You two actually dated?"

"For a short while. Only four months and then we both decided our schedules were too busy and we lived too far. Her career was growing and she was gaining more notoriety and serial killers don't take days off to go visit your girlfriend."

"I'm sorry," She said, but neither of us knew why she was apologizing. "Do you maybe wanna tell me about your new girl? The one who apparently has an affinity for marking you up?" She nodded towards the mark I still couldn't figure out to hide. 

"Nope," I smiled, pulling at my collar. "I don't think I do."

She started to protest when Hotch walked by, giving us a look we both knew meant we had to get back to work. I grimaced but went back to my desk. 

Noon came and went and I was nearly done with my files. Emily gave me a few of hers, which I did without protest. Was she using the fact that I still felt guilty about La Plata? Yes. Was either one of us going to say anything? No. A few extra files wouldn't kill me.

Of course, Derek saw her do it and he dropped some on my desk as well, not accepting them when I tried to give them back. I tried to tell him that when he took a beating for me I'd do his work, but he protested that he did get blown up so he deserved some help too. When I pointed out that I was also blown up, and it wasn't the first time either, my protests fell on deaf ears. 

I relented, doing the work. When I finished my remaining files, plus Emily and Derek's, I saw it was an hour till I could leave, and thus far there was no case. I didn't believe in jinxing our chances of getting or not getting a case, but I knew statistically it didn't matter what time of the day it was, a case could come at any time, so I didn't text Luke yet. I did check my phone to see I had a text from him. 

_L. Alvez - > S. Reid_

_-Roxy misses you. She keeps whining and prodding at your shoes that you left._

_-I miss you too_

_S. Reid - > L. Alvez_

_-You both just saw me_

_-So far no case, but that doesn't mean I won't get one before we're supposed to leave. We're also on call 24/7._

I better explained my job to him after our first date, when he proposed the idea of skipping awkward dates and going straight to being a couple. We got on great, verbally, mentally, physically. We checked each other's boxes, but I didn't want him signing up for something he didn't understand. I told him exactly what we did, that sometimes I was gone for weeks and bad things have happened to us agents or the people in our lives. He said he understood, then repeated his question without hesitation, like I hadn't told him dating me was potentially signing up for disaster. 

_L. Alvez - > S. Reid_

_-Dinner tonight?_

_-Unless you want to take some time by yourself, you can just swing by and grab your stuff if you want. Up to you_

I grinned, we were definitely spending a lot of time together. I told myself we'd have dinner and then I'd go back to my apartment. There was no use in paying my bills if I didn't sleep there at least occasionally. 

_S. Reid - > L. Alvez_

_-Dinner sounds great. Indian?_

_-I can't stay the night, I have to deal with my own apartment_

_-Not that I expected I'd stay the night or you were offering!_

I groaned to myself, rubbing at my eyes. I thought my awkwardness might pass if we were officially dating. That was proving to not be the case.

Anderson passed my desk, dropping some files down and I glared at the papers. I had already done all of my work, half of Emily's, and about a quarter of Dereks. Of course, I could get through it faster than them simply because I could read quicker, but that fact didn't help me when I saw the new stack of files I'd have to complete.

I started on the first one, a consultation the Bronx PD had requested help on, specifically with me due to their need for a geographical profile, and finished it quickly. I worked through the stack at an alarming rate, thinking I wouldn't hand them in until tomorrow morning when I could look over it and ensure there were no errors. Now, though, I had no more work, and my shift ended in three minutes. I organized my desk like every night and grabbed my phone before going to clock out. In the elevator, I checked my phone and smiled. 

_L. Alvez - > S. Reid_

_-Unless I explicitly tell you otherwise, you're always welcome to spend the night_

_-I'll have the Indian ready for when you get here. See you soon!_


	3. Canis Minor

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Spencer and Luke go on a date and the BAU backs off

The longer Luke and I dated the less suspicious the team grew. The term 'longer' is used loosely, though, seeing how we've scarcely passed three months together. But still, the longer we're together the happier I seemed and the more the team forgot about the mystery girl I brought home from the bar all those months ago. If I weren't smart I would say that they had already profiled my unusually chipper behavior to learn that I was in a semi-serious relationship with someone, _but_ I was a genius. So I knew that they hadn't done that. Profiling blinkers are a wonderful thing if you think about it. They couldn't believe that me, of all people, would find a girl at a club, bring her home for a night, and turn it into a relationship. Which, technically, was true. I didn't find a girl at a club, I found a guy. 

But I noticed the interrogations lessening, a lack of teasing comments and questions, and they started trying to set me up again, even after I explained I wasn't interested. 

It wasn't that I didn't want them to know about Luke, but that was a lot to put on him, especially so early in our relationship. It would be like introducing him to my family, I figured, which wasn't something that was done so early on or with such carelessness. We talked about it and he and I decided if some time down the road, I wanted to tell them then I could, and if not then we'd simply wait until it came out. I wasn't hiding it either, if they asked I would tell them the truth, at least about being in a relationship, but they didn't ask so I didn't tell. 

"Big plans tonight, Reid?" Derek asked, watching me hurriedly finish my files and shove everything into my satchel. 

"Date night," I said honestly, and he just laughed. 

"Have fun with your books, pretty boy." He said, and I swallowed hard. Luke had started calling me 'pretty boy' in various situations and it was leading to some... inappropriate responses to the name, even when it came from Derek. I almost called him 'darling' on a case last week, and before that, I felt butterflies at the name. 

I waved him off and ran to the elevator, trying to leave before a case could pull me in. Before the doors shut I had my phone up to my ear, ringing for only a moment before Luke answered. 

"Case?" He asked, sounding upset. 

"Nope!" I grinned. "I am on my way home right now, I'm going to take a shower, and I'll be ready in an hour. You're still picking me up?"

"Yeah!" He said, his mood obviously heightened. "I'll see you then, Spence."

He hung up and I smiled to myself, giddy.

* * *

When Luke picked me up I had to remind myself to breathe. Three months with him and I thought it might be impossible to grow used to see him dressed up. He cleaned up his beard and his hair was styled neatly atop his head, a dark red button-up with black slacks. I felt severely underdressed but his reaction was similar to mine. He greeted me with a quick kiss and I grabbed my wallet and phone, letting him drag me to the elevator.

I figured I should've been used to fancy atmospheres at that point in my life, given my job and the different experiences it led to, yet I didn't think it could happen. Of course, the restaurant was amazing. The food tasted unreal and the low lighting and live pianist played into the romantic feelings, creating butterflies in my stomach every time I looked at Luke. Everyone around us was dressed to the nines and I wouldn't be surprised if we witnessed at least one proposal. 

When the waiter came by to collect our dishes, discreetly dropping off a dessert menu along with suggestions, I tried to protest but Luke shook his head. 

"There is no way in hell we came all the way out to this fancy restaurant with more forks than I have ever seen, just to _not_ get cake, Spencer." He deadpanned, and I giggled. "Now, do you want chocolate or lemon?"

"Chocolate, but only if you have some of mine. I don't think this is the kind of place to have takeout boxes, and this dinner will probably cost my yearly wages." I joked. 

"Deal!" 

Our waiter came by as soon as Luke had agreed, making me think he had been listening in on our conversation. Especially so when I noticed he didn't write anything down, but his notepad had scribbles on it, insinuating he had already written down our order. 

I forgot all about that when he brought out the cake, the slice more than large enough for the both of us. At the first bite, I salivated, moaning around the mouthful of food. 

Luke laughed, watching me carefully. "Should I be offended?"

"What do you mean?"

"That's the same face and sound you make in bed," He teased, and I blushed, nearly choking on the cake. 

"You should feel proud," I amended. "This is the best cake I've ever had. Be glad you elicit the same response."

He shook his head, eating his portion of the cake, maybe not reacting quite as much as me. 

When we stepped out of the restaurant after paying for the meal it wasn't dissimilar to the feeling experienced when you leave a movie theatre in the middle of the day. The soft hum of the pianist and hushed conversations was quite the dichotomy to the roar of city life, horns honking and drunks _whoop_ ing as they stumbled down the street. The warm lighting from inside the restaurant, meant to initiate a feeling of intimacy, wasn't different in levels of light outside, but the organic darkness felt so much colder. 

Luke's fingers intertwined mine and gave me a squeeze. "So?" He prompted. "What'd you think?"

"I don't think I've ever been in such a nice restaurant when Rossi wasn't paying or it wasn't for a case," I laughed. "Though I did go to a similar one after my first dissertation defense. My professor brought me to celebrate my new title," I smiled, remembering the night fondly. 

"How old were you when you earned your first doctorate?" 

"15, then I earned my next one at 17, and my most recent at 19, I was about to turn 20."

He whistled lowly, walking forwards and pulling me along. I didn't think much about where we were going, trusting him to guide the both of us. "Do you ever think about earning more?"

I shrugged, spotting a park in the distance. He pulled me along a bit quicker till we reached the swings. "I'm about to finish a new bachelor's and I'll probably extend it to a doctor. It'll help in the field." I stared down at the swings. "Are those sanitary?"

Luke laughed a bit, shaking his head. "Probably not. Want to walk through the park instead?"

I swooned and sighed in relief. "Yes, please and thank you. Maybe when we get back I'll have psyched myself up enough to sit on the swings without protest,"

The stars were shockingly clear, especially being so close to the city that was riddled with light pollution. I tripped a few times in just the first steps we took from staring upwards, searching for various constellations, and noting in my head to point them out to Luke. 

"You don't have to do that," He said. 

"What do you mean?"

"Go on the swings," He clarified. "If you're uncomfortable with it then I don't want to push you to do anything."

"But you want to go on them! It's just a swing, Luke. I've stared down the barrel of many guns, I can handle a piece of playground equipment." I laughed lightly, but we could both hear the unease. 

He tsked, disliking the violent part of my job. "Honestly, they looked a bit gross," He fibbed. "Let's go on our walk then maybe you'll let me take you back to mine?" He grinned and I nodded. 

"Luke Alvez, I kind of like you," 

He stopped us under Canis Minor and pressed our lips together, much more of a peck than anything else, and I could feel him smiling. He pulled back without leaving my space, grabbing the ends of my purple scarf and giving it a teasing tug. It was cold enough to see our breath in the air and they mingled together, leaving me uncertain if I was breathing at all. 

"You know what, Spencer Reid, I think I kind of like you too," He grinned, and I giggled, letting him lead me around the park, not stopping when we passed the swings. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is super short and kind of shitty but I just really wanted to get this one out because the next one is actually good and has character/relationship development!! stay tuned lol I won't wait a month and a half before I update next time


	4. Poppy Petals Make Me Cry

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Spencer and Luke have been together for five months now, and Spencer has his first nightmare in Luke's presence.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter is angst/comfort! there is one line that alludes to physical abuse in past relationships, but it's a bit of a blink-and-you-miss-it moment. also past/current (current is in a dream) drug use and mentions of cravings.  
> okay I think there is also self-harm (spoiler: spencer scratches at his arm when he has cravings to help the itch, not to hurt himself but it does hurt him a bit)

There was something entirely teenager about being with Luke, not that I'd know what it felt like, but I could assume. He fed me compliments and I blushed, even five months into our relationship. I could still feel him grinning into most of our kisses like he couldn't believe it was happening. We were so stuck in the honeymoon phase that I was terrified I'd do something wrong and break it. 

He wasn't blind to the traumas that came from my line of work. I had told it to him in small increments, late nights in bed or early mornings over coffee. I told him about Phillip Dowd, and he told me about his best friend being killed during combat, Luke being the only one with him when he took his last breath. I told him about Tobias Hankel and he told me about his first real relationship, how it ended in a restraining order instead of a breakup. Neither of us was lacking in past demons, but everything we told each other we chose. I told him how I had to shoot Dowd, but not how I obsessed over it for months, racking my brain for reasons why and how I could've prevented it. I told him how Hankel drugged me and I became addicted, but I didn't tell him that after a hard case the cravings seep in and I'd scratch at my forearms until they were so pink you couldn't see the old scars, marking me as an addict. 

I chose what to tell him, I chose how to tell him, and I chose when to tell him, the same as he did with me. I didn't anticipate being forced to tell him anything, but looking back on it I should've only been surprised it didn't happen sooner. 

* * *

"Cariño?" I heard Luke's voice from across his apartment. I was splitting my time fairly evenly between his and mine and he occasionally came to mine as well, but it was easier for Roxy if I just joined him. "Did I leave my flannel bottoms at your apartment?"

I got out of bed, putting on the very bottoms he was talking about that I had stolen, and found him in the kitchen, looking through a duffle bag, similar to my go-bag, that he brought back and forth to my place. I insisted he could have a drawer, but he said he liked to have everything he might need with him, not wanting to leave things at my place if we would be at his more often than not. 

"Nope," I popped the 'p' and he looked over at me, failing to be angry with a grin on his face. 

"You're infuriating." He deadpanned and I laughed. 

"We're about to go to bed anyway, you'd take them off as soon as you got under the covers."

"So will you!"

I ignored that, taking his hand and bringing him to bed. "I'm tired, that was a long case and I want to get some sleep before I have to go in and complete my casework," I said, and he relented, but I felt him glaring when I stripped off the pajama pants and got into bed. He would've done the same, so I didn't care. 

"How was the case? I mean, I know you found the unsub and saved the last victim, but other than that?"

I hesitated, talking about cases before bed seemed to make me wary. I could work a case all night long and sleep soundly, but talking about them, what I thought about them, or evaluating what happened, that was different. 

"She called Hotch a whore," I settled on saying, and Luke let out a sharp laugh. 

"You're kidding," He said, and I shook my head. "Jesus Christ." He took a moment and settled down. "But other than _that_ , how was it?"

I thought about the woman, her own family torn apart, and how she took it upon herself to ensure it wouldn't happen to other people by eliminating someone who would fall to infidelity. I thought about how Hotch sat with her as she died. How she drugged herself the same as her clients. 

"I, uh, I don't want to talk about it right now. In the morning?" I asked, and Luke nodded, seeming to understand my unease. He wrapped his arms around my waist, pulling my back against his front. He kissed the back of my neck and I smiled, a small yawn sounding through the room. His arm left me for only a moment, turning off the lame on his bedside table before his arm slinked around me again. 

"Okay, Spencer, whatever you want." He said, and I felt him burrow his face against my neck, his nose pressing against me in a way that should've been annoying, but was endearing at worst. I felt his chest rise and fall against my back, slowly growing deeper and further apart while he fell asleep, the breaths on the back of my neck almost unnoticeable being part of my night now. 

My own eyes began to flutter shut, the sounds and smell of Luke lulling me to sleep along with him, and when I did sleep I dreamt vividly. 

_I'm standing in the middle of a field of poppy flowers. The symbolism and irony are not lost on me, being surrounded by such an innocent and beautiful piece of nature that I abused for so long. I can remember a year ago Hotch drug testing me, under the table. I pick a flower and put it behind my ear. When he drug tested me I wasn't allowed to eat anything that had poppyseeds or I would test positive for opioids, heroin, Dilaudid. The flowers around me make me tired, which is confusing. I know I am dreaming, but my dream-self is sleepy. I remember the humiliation the first time Hotch told me he was going to drug test me. He always spoke in code, so obvious his words had two meanings but no outsiders being able to decipher it. He asked if I was still going to the movies, and I nodded, despite missing the past three meetings for cases. I was still sober. He knew I was lying about the meetings, so he tested me._

_The sky isn't blue, it's an ashen yellow. There aren't individual clouds, all one big smear of grey fluff, disturbing the yellow back. I walk through the field, careful not to step on any of the flowers, but I crush a single red petal under my feet. I'm not wearing shoes, just one yellow striped sock and another purple polka-dotted one. I frown. They're mismatched, like always, but they aren't complimentary. I try to take them off but they're stuck, the harder I pull the tighter the threads grow._

_I let out a sound of struggle and I hear a laugh in response. I look up wildly, searching for the source of the sound, and I see Megan Kane, laying in the flowers with a gun in one hand and a drink in the other._

_Even though I know I can't get a logical response I ask, "Why are you here?" And she laughs again._

_"I'm supposed to be here, why are you?" Her voice isn't her own, it's Lila's. I frown and forget the socks, walking towards her. The closer I get the smaller she seems until I am right next to her and she grows to Lila's size, then to Megan's. She keeps growing._

_"I said, why are you?" It's not Lila's voice either, and when I look at her I realize she isn't Megan anymore. She's transformed into Ethan. He has a smile on his face, still holding Megan's poisoned drink but the gun is nowhere to be found. _

_"I don't know," I say honestly. "You were just Megan and Lila, but now you're just Ethan."_

_"Always so smart, Reid," He grins, but something about his smile is foreign to me. It shouldn't be, I've seen it many times and I can't forget it. "Too smart." His voice doesn't match him anymore and I realize why. It grows deeper and the smile sloughs off of his face, he's glaring at me, the drink transforming into a small bottle._

_"No..." I sat, trying to take a step back, but my feet hurt. They hurt so bad, why do they hurt so bad? I look down and my socks are gone. I want them back. "Please don't, Tobias, I don't want it!"_

_Every time I try to step back he comes closer, bottle in one hand and needle in the other. When I try to move I fall back. I'm falling for much too long until my back hits a hard wooden chair. I'm still surrounded by poppies, and I can see the petals falling off of the flower I put behind my ear._

_"You need it," He says, stoic as he gets the air bubbles out of the syringe. "And even worse, if you didn't need it you still want it."_

_He's right._

_I put my hands up to fend off the drugs, all I can think about is my sobriety chip. I don't want to give it up. It was so hard to get. When my hands are in front of my face I see I'm holding the gun that had disappeared from Megan's hand when she became Ethan. I don't think when I hold it in front of me, aiming it directly at Tobias's chest. Can you kill someone twice?_

_"Don't do this, don't become a bigger sinner," It's Raphael's voice now, and I nearly vomit._

_"Get away from me!" I cry, the gun shaking in my hands. The syringe in his hand drifts closer to me and I falter. It will make me feel better. Just one more time and maybe my hands will stop shaking._

_"Come on, Spencer," He says, his hand on my bicep. "Come on!"_

_Why is he saying that to me? What does he want from me?_

_"I can't!" I yell. I want the drugs, but Hotch is behind him, so far away I nearly miss him, and I know he'll drug test me. I can't lose my job. I put the gun back up, hands surprisingly steady as I switch off the safety._

_"Come on, Cariño," He says, but his voice isn't right. My head cocks to the side. "Come on, wake up now," His hand is still on my bicep, shaking me, and I close my eyes._

I opened my eyes with a start, jumping back from a hand on my arm, nearly falling out of bed. My breathing was ragged and when I brought my hands up to my face it was slick with sweat and tears. 

"Spencer?" Luke's voice is quiet, hands outstretched like he wants to touch me but don't know if he should. "Can you tell me what you need? Do you want me to give you space or do you want physical contact?"

I looked at him, best I could in the darkness, and shook my head wildly, still reeling from my dream. "Turn on the light," My voice was raspy like I'd been screaming, and I hoped I wasn't. 

He pulled the cord on the lamp and his room grew brighter, my eyes squinting at the sudden light and more tears fell. He looked at me while his arms outstretched, still unsure what to do. 

"I'm sorry," I said, gasping for air. "I'm sorry I- I don't-"

"Hey, it's okay, you don't have to apologize!" Luke said, leaning closer to me. He lowered his arms, obviously trying to appear less threatening. I suppose it worked, seeing how I rushed towards him afterward. His arms wrapped around my back and I could feel the layer of sweat that had stuck my shirt to my back. I didn't have it in me to feel grossed out. "Do you want to talk about it?"

I planned out what I was going to say, that I needed a minute to just lay with him before I could start speaking, needed a minute to calm down from the adrenaline rush caused by a nightmare, but all that came out was, "I'm sorry!"

His hand rubbed along my spine slowly, I felt his lips moving against the crown of my head, whispering quietly. 

"Nightmare?" He asked and I nodded fervently against his bare chest. "Okay, how about we calm down for a minute, I'll make some tea, and we can talk about it?"

"Don't go," I croaked out. "Stay with me."

"Okay!" He said, pulling me closer cautiously. "Well, let's calm down for a bit, yeah? Just breathe, in through the nose and out through the mouth. Match my breathing." He commanded, and I did. It took me a while to match the pace he set but I got there eventually, feeling a headache set in from the crying. My throat hurt and I knew that tea would help, but I couldn't get up and I didn't want Luke to leave me. 

"Are you good now?" He asked and I nodded. "Okay, do you wanna talk about it? You were yelling some pretty rough stuff, Spence."

"I'm sorry," I whispered into his chest. "I didn't mean to."

"I know! There's nothing wrong with having nightmares, Spence, it's okay. Do you want to wait to talk about it?"

I shook my head. "No, I want to get it all out before I forget it. I need to get it out so I can remember it."

He gestured for me to go on.

"I was in a field of poppy flowers." I started. The significance of the flower wasn't lost on me, but I knew Luke wouldn't make the connection the same as I. "You know, opium poppies." He nodded subtly, and I saw his face harden without him realizing it. "I thought about the last time Hotch drug tested me, a year ago when I started missing NA meetings for cases, but I was sober!" I swore. "I've been sober for over a year!"

"I know, Spencer, and I'm proud of you."

I just nodded and kept talking. "And I looked down and I was wearing mismatched socks."

"But you always wear mismatched socks?"

"Yes, but these didn't match at all. One was yellow and the other was purple. Those aren't even complimentary! So, I tried to take them off but they wouldn't budge and I started to get mad and then I heard someone laughing at me. I looked up and our unsub was there holding a gun and a drink. She drugged her victims with drinks before shooting them," I clarified. "And she killed herself by drinking one of her drugged drinks. So I asked her why she was there and she said she was supposed to be and asked why I was there. But it wasn't her voice," I remembered. "it was Lila's."

"Who's Lila?"

"Lila Archer, this girl I dated after I met her on a case."

"Lila Archer... the actress?"

"Yeah. So I walked towards her and she repeated herself, asking why I was there, but it wasn't Lila or Megan's voice, it was Ethan's. And then she transformed into him physically too."

"Ethan?" He prompted. 

"My friend, I used to date him too," I said. "He helped me after Hankel when we were friends. We haven't dated since college. He was holding the poisoned drink but the gun was gone, and I told him I didn't know why I was there. He called me smart but then he started to change, like how Megan changed into him, and he said I was _too_ smart. He was Tobias and the drink turned into a bottle, a vial, of Dilaudid. I tried to tell him I didn't want it! I did! But he came closer to me and I tried to step back but I wasn't wearing socks like when Hankel had me and every step hurt so badly!"

Luke's face changed and he wiped at my cheeks. I started crying again but I hadn't realized. 

"And he said I needed it, but even if I didn't I wanted it. But I was thinking about my sobriety chip and how I couldn't do it again, not if I started using again. I realized _I_ had the gun and I pointed it at him and then his demeanor changed, he was Raphael. He called me a sinner, told me not to be a bigger sinner, I had already killed him once. I told him to get away but he filled the syringe and walked closer to me and I _did_ want it, Luke! I wanted it so badly, I thought 'it'll make my hands steady, I can handle one more hit and still be sober,'" I choked out sobs and Luke said nothing, letting me finish. "I tried to let him give it to me and then you woke me up."

Luke didn't say anything for a few minutes, letting me calm down until he spoke up. "Did you have that dream because the case stressed you out and reminded you of old memories, or did you have that dream because you're having cravings in real life?"

I looked down in shame, staring at my clothed forearms. I slowly rolled up the sleeves and he looked relieved when instead of seeing fresh track marks he saw angry red lines, up and down my veins where I scratched to fight the cravings. 

"I do this when I crave," I admitted, refusing to look up. "I uh, I scratch at my arms as a coping mechanism. It alleviates the itch of wanting the drug and gives me something else to focus on." He put a hand on my wrist, pulling my arms toward the light so he could see it better.

"Oh, Cariño," He sighed, grabbing lotion out of his drawer and carefully rubbing it over the pink marks. "What do you think about calling your sponsor?"

That was also profiling 101. Phrasing it like a question when really he was telling me to do it so I had a sense of control. It worked though, even if I did argue.

I shook my head. "I haven't called her since before I even met you. I only see her at meetings when I tell her how good I'm doing. I can't call."

"Come on, Spencer," He said, gesturing at my arms. He took a moment and I could see the thoughts racing through his head. "You were put through an impossible situation, and you came out of it. Getting yourself sober, with no help from your team, friends, family, is insane. You don't need to do it alone anymore. You have a sponsor, and you have your friends, and you have _me_. You go to NA to _stay_ sober, not to prove to yourself or to anyone else that you're doing good. Your sponsor is there to help you stay on track, not to judge you. And I'm here to encourage you to get help when you need it. And right now, you need it. Even if this is just a passing craving, you need to talk about it to someone who understands. And I want to understand, but I don't."

I sighed, looking at the alarm clock on his bedside table. It was nearly three in the morning. "I'll call her in the morning. She won't wake if I call her now."

"Spencer," He said, giving me a stern look. 

"I will!" I promised. "I swear, I will sit with you while I call her and show you, but calling her right now just to get sent to voicemail isn't going to help me. It's going to make it worse."

He nodded but didn't look pleased. "I'm not going to sit in on your call, I'm not forcing you to do this. You're calling her because you know that's what's best." He said, which even if I didn't want to admit it, he was right. "What do you need from me right now?"

I needed something to distract me from the itch in my arms. I needed a time machine to go back in time and stop me from convincing JJ to split up. I needed to know why I couldn't just forget about Dilaudid, forget how good it felt, and forget all the times cravings seeped in unannounced or unprompted. 

"I need you to hold me and talk to me," I asked, and he nodded, pulling me closer. I wanted to apologize again, but I didn't want to annoy him. "Thank you," I settled on. His arms tightened around me, leaving the light on. 

"You're welcome," He said, kissing my cheek. "I care about you, I just want you to feel good and supported."

"I do," I said. "When I'm with you, I do."

"Try to get some sleep, Spencer, I'm right here." He said and I was already falling back asleep, tried tears on my cheeks. My eyes fluttered shut so I almost missed it when he added, "I love you." He had never said that before.

Neither had I, not to him, not to most people. There were four people in my life I had ever said that to. My mother, Ethan, Gideon, JJ, and Garcia.

"I love you." I tried to reply, but in my sleepy stupor, I was sure it came across as _I luh ya_. But when he pulled me closer, burying his head in the crook of my neck, I knew the sentiment was understood.


End file.
